Funzze recently sent me a Remote Control Dual Stim Vibe to test and review.
I've previously reviewed a Unicorn Dildo and a Thrusting Dildo for Funzze , both of which I was very impressed with so I had high hope for the Dual Stim. Funzze's new toy far exceeded my expectations.
For science, Hellga and I decided the only way to rigorously test the Funzze remote-controlled vibrator was to try it out in a public setting.
We examined the toy briefly at home before venturing out and determined that the device is switched on via a long press of a squishy button on the outside of the clitty tickler end.
Consecutive short presses of the power button cycles through ten vibration modes.
There are two buttons on the remote.
One push of the standby button to stop or start.
Pressing the other remote button cycles through the ten vibration modes.
Easy enough.
The toy looks a bit like the Hammerpede snake alien from the Prometheus movie. Pro tip, if you're exploring a creepy, HR Giger designed, abandoned hulk of a wrecked space ship and a pallid, slimy, snake alien rises up all menacing from a pool of black goo, it might just want to snuggle. Alternatively, it might want to wrap itself around your neck. Then plunge head first down your throat to eat your intestines. Maybe assume the latter and keep your distance.
The remote is cute too. Looks like the lovechild of Dr Who's K9 robot and a Star Wars Stormtrooper. Now there's a Rule 34 violation that needs amending. Digital artists, get on it please.
We adjourned to a nearby chic and stylish cocktail bar.
Hellga found it's possible to walk with the toy inserted. The bulbous, egg shaped, insertable end is well designed to ensure that it won't pop out prematurely. I considered asking her to walk to the cocktail bar we'd chosen for our experiment with the toy in situ. Then decided not to risk discovering halfway to the bar that it was causing discomfort and needed to be removed. So the vibrator got to hitch a lift in Hellga's handbag to be inserted in the privacy of the ladies room once we arrived.
I ordered drinks.
Hellga disappeared off to the ladies to insert the vibrator.
She returned just as a Leo Dicaprio looking waiter delivered a Margarita and a Czech lager.
"OOH thank you!" Hellga ejaculated.
The "OOH" in this case, coinciding with me hitting the on switch. Leo smiled enigmatically leaving his reaction open to interpretation. Ambiguous as to whether Hellga's "OOH" was appropriate for a delighted patron receiving a delicious libation. Or whether the "OOH" was more indicative of having an electrical appliance unexpectedly go off inside one's vagina.
Hellga and I enjoyed one another's company. Convivial conversation. Tasty beverages.
Intermittent clitoral and G-spot stimulation.
I complimented Hellga on her radiant glowing complexion. She seemed to be getting a lot of admiring glances from other patrons. Not unusual. She does have that effect. But I think at least part of the reason might have been people recognising on some instinctive subconscious level the visual, auditory and pheromonal clues signalling her state of arousal.
Our erudite discussion about vestigial adaptations evolved by our more primal, tribal ancestors was only enhanced by the fact that I couldn't resist incessantly prodding the Bluetooth remote like Hector Salamanca dinging his bell.
With practice Hellga gained the ability to dial down her reaction to the Dual Stim Vibe from a ten to about a 3. Ten being an opera singer with Tourette's syndrome accidentally straddling an electric fence. Three being a ladylike and socially acceptable "ooh".
The buzzing noise of the toy is audible through clothes if you're in a quiet room. In a bar with music playing and normal ambient noise of conversations, it's effectively ninja silent. If you're on a covert assassination mission, silently tiptoeing you're way past an army of henchmen to eliminate your nemesis with your nunchucks, this toy might be a bit loud. Otherwise it's fine.
After we paid the bill and returned to chez Oz, everything was soon dialled back up to ten. We discovered the optimum use for the toy, apart from assisted stealth masturbation in public places, is to insert the G-Spot end, engage the clit tickler, maximum power from both motors whilst ramming her ass with my cock.
Hellga and I both loved this toy. The vibrations from both motors are strong but quiet enough for use in public. It's body safe silicone, easy to clean, the design is appealing, there's a good variety of vibrations in the ten modes and the buttons on the toy and remote are easy and intuitive to use.
Seductive Dee has also reviewed the Funzze Remote Control Dual Stim Vibe.
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