Funzze very kindly sent me a self-heating, thrusting dildo to test drive.
I've previously reviewed a Unicorn Dildo for Funzze. I was impressed then with the quality of their product and with Funzze's excellent customer service. They reply promptly to their emails and are always courteous and friendly in their communications. A business doing pleasure with them.
This time too, we conducted our arrangements via email with a minimum of fuss and a maximum of cordiality. Very soon, my thrusting dildo was en route.
I do sometimes wonder what the postman guesses is in my packages when he delivers a small box that a jiggle test indicates may contain something about 9 inches long, firm and slightly floppy. A human hand? A taxidermized ferret? Perhaps a parrot who is pining for the fjords?
If he guessed thrusting dildo he was bang on.
The Funzze thrusting dildo is 8.67" long, 6.3" insertable and 1.57" in diameter.
It's made from body safe silicone and feels fleshy and grippy like a firm, manly, handshake.
There are 8 vibration modes to choose from. It's traditional for any sex toy with multiple modes to have some fairly Avant Garde rhythms.
Anything syncopated, progressive, random, ending phrases on an off beat etc are all well and jazzy.
My preference is for something downtempo to start off slowly and then a beat you could dance to but wouldn't be too distracting in a bar if you weren't dancing.
So something like trip hop for foreplay and deep house for sex.
Quite achievable with the thrusting dildo via no mode to start and then mode 1 (rhythmic thrusting) when you're ready for it.
Try the other 7 modes once each but you're not going to spend long with a beat poetry rhythm before you want to get back on some mode 1 pulsing four-on-the-floor goodness.
The noise level is 50dB. I looked up what a noise level of 50dB corresponds to out of curiosity. A quiet conversation. Louder than the ambient noise levels in a library, quieter than on the bus.
So if you use your thrusting dildo in the library, you might get shushed. But if you use it on the bus, you should be fine.
Also included is a little remote like one of those bluetooth phone camera shutter thingys. Key fob sized. It has two buttons. One to activate heating mode and one to change thrusting modes. The power button is on the base of the dildo next to the charge port.
The thrusting dildo comes with it's own rather bling bling little silky fabric drawstring bag, a business card sized set of clear and concise instructions and a spare battery for the remote.
My Fucking Machine, featured here, definitely has more thrusting power and visual impact but the thrusting dildo is far more versatile and manoeuvrable. Setting up the Fucking Machine and packing it away again afterwards involve some considerable engineering whereas the thrusting dildo is ready to go at the push of a button.
I highly recommend the thrusting dildo as an addition to the toy collection of any discerning orifice owner.
Do re-apply plenty of water based lube often as the grippy texture, warming head and relentless thrusting do tend to absorb a lot of lubrication. Switch the dildo off while it's still inserted any time you want to take it out to re-lube as it's a lot easier to land the dismount when it's not thrashing around like a pogoing proctoscope.
Here's Dee's review on youtube.
I very much enjoyed my initial session on my back, on the sofa. The thrusting dildo liberally sluiced in water based lube ramming my bottom. While I watched a life sized POV of a transsexual top pounding away on the big screen. An immersive VR-ish experience. One that I'm sure will be the first of many romantic evenings thrusting dildo and I share together.
Funzze has a Valentines Sale on now. Buy one, get one free if you spend over $50.
