I met with a lovely, and initially extremely nervous couple, the other day.
Between them I think they used the word "nervous" about 20 times in the first 5 minutes after I stepped into their hotel room. "you'll have to excuse us, we've never done anything like this before, we're both extremely nervous", "I just managed to have a bite for breakfast, I was so nervous I had no appetite", "I don't always get hard when I'm nervous so it might not happen for me but anyway I'd love to watch you and my wife together" etc.
Fair enough. I've met a lot of nervous people in the 12 years I've been escorting. Lots of people who are having a new experience and aren't exactly sure what to expect. People who have high hopes that they're about to have a wonderful experience that could change their lives. But at the same time they're afraid of how it could go wrong.
What if the male escort they've booked can't perform or is unattractive or is selfish and just wants to derail the session and make it all about himself? Their fantasy could be spoiled, the bad memory could become a cause of ongoing friction in their relationship. Couples who see me are risking a lot. They're entrusting the responsibility in my hands to make sure their threesome fantasy is enjoyable. To leave them with happy memories. To bring them closer as a couple having shared something special.
I hope my Web presence is some reassurance. My site has been up for over 8 years and with new blog posts nearly every week plus regularly added new, positive reviews from clients. Plus I hope all the interviews I've done with mainstream media outlets over the years give the impression I love what I do and really care about being great at my job.
I know my Oz persona is pretty silly with my cartoon faces and all the weird things I say on my blog. But I am having a lot of fun and that's what I want people to see when they look at my site, social media etc. I don't take myself seriously and I think sex should be fun. It should be a laugh. I'm sex positive, completely non judgemental and care deeply about making my clients happy. And I think sex is inherently quite ridiculous in all its wet, slappy glory and want to celebrate that.
I am number one based on my position in search engine results. I think I can also make a legitimate claim to being the best in the world at what I do. Male escorting. Specialising in duos, couples, cuckolding and forced-bi. Giving every client the absolute best possible experience I'm capable of.
If you read my blog, you know I have words.
I'm not sure if I have the words to say how proud I feel when I meet some terrified couple who just don't know if meeting me is going to be the best thing they ever did together or the worst. Then addressing their concerns, reassuring them, calming them, getting them excited, rocking their world with a red hot sexy session and leaving them grinning ear to ear with relief and delight that their fantasy became a real and wonderful experience. That's what I live for. That's why I wouldn't do anything else. I love being an escort because of the money and freedom and sex but most of all for that moment when my clients' nervousness is forgotten and they're smiling and grateful and enjoying the afterglow and I can see I've given them something unforgettable that's changed their life.
I told them I understood their nervousness. I've met lots of nervous people. But not to worry. The session would be all about their pleasure. "Anything you want to do, we'll do it, anything you don't want to do, we won't do it". I asked them about their limits. Was there anything they especially didn't want to happen? They said no kissing please and to start off slow and be gentle. I asked if he was bi. He wasn't sure but seemed open to the possibility. I asked if she'd like a massage first just to relax. A big yes. They were both already looking a lot less frightened.
I went for a quick shower and came back naked.
"That's an unnaturally big cock!"
Actually I'm all-natural. Ethically sourced, fair trade, organic, gluten free and biodegradable.
Furthermore, I'm genetically unmodified and without any cybernetic upgrades or implants.
Exactly as nature intended. Just superhumanly fit, good looking and packing an unfeasibly large penis.
For a human anyway. Fortunately nature didn't choose to bestow upon me a blue whale cock. 2.4m. That could be a bit inconventient having to fold it in half just to fit it in a shopping trolley.
Or a barnacle. 10 times the length of it's body. Having a cock as long as a tube carriage might cramp one's style somewhat. Unless it was prehensile. Using it to swing from lamp posts like Spiderman could be fun.
I got them both lying face down on the bed and gave her a naked massage with my nice body shop massage oil. They were face to face and smiling, enjoying the new and strange but fun experience of her receiving pleasure from another man with him watching.
Then I asked if he'd like some massage too. Yes! So I rubbed some oil gently to his back. Kneaded some tension out of his shoulders and neck. Now it was his turn to look into his wife's eyes and for her to look back and see he was melting with pleasure under my strong hands. She seemed thrilled to see he was enjoying it. I ran my hands over his bum and asked if he liked it. Yes again. So more attention paid to his ass, between his thighs, my fingers gently brushing over his balls.
I had a strong suspicion his concerns about getting hard may have proven unfounded.
Told them both to turn over on their backs while I kneeled on the bed between them.
Sure enough. Rock hard.
I did the cross country skier impersonation with one hand on his cock and the other gently caressing her inner thighs until her legs parted and I found her soaking wet and moaning with pleasure.
Something told me their nervousness was a thing of the past.
I was careful to make sure everything we did was OK with both of them and we were able to explore his bi curiosity. He loved sucking my cock. French kissing his wife with my cock between both their lips. He tried taking a small toy in his ass but struggled with that so we decided receiving anal from me wouldn't happen that day.
She wasn't used to taking any dick other than her husband's normal sized one so I started very slow with her but once she was excited enough she was able to take it deep and hard. Then she asked for her husbands cock in her ass and after that wanted me to fuck her ass too.
We even managed DP which was super intense for her but she loved it and took two cocks like a pro. I think the DP was too intense for her to cum so I pulled out and with just his dick inside her in cowgirl she rode him to a three way simultaneous orgasm with me cumming on his chest at the exact moment the two of them reached climax.
We all collapsed in a sweaty heap, happy and satisfied.
After I'd showered and gotten dressed I asked if they were going to try out the spa at the hotel. They said they were relaxed enough already!
As mutant superpowers go, being able to make nervous people relaxed isn't exactly leaping over tall buildings. With or without launch velocity achieved via slingshotting off a fire escape with one's 20 metre long prehensile penis. But it's super nonetheless. When Marvel inevitably makes a movie about me, I'm going to be rolling in the royalties but I'll still be Ozzy from the block and I'll still be balls deep in someone else's wife making some couple's MMF threesome fantasy a reality, every chance I get.
They sent me a thank you email and permission to quote them = "Thank you so much for today and for putting us both at ease! We have smiles on our faces!"