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Oz Underwater

15th November 2019
Oz Bigdownunder

I took this pic in my hotel room in Dubai, used gimp image editing software to crop myself out of the original background and paste myself into this Underwater hotel room in Maldives. Added the head of Bruce, the shark from Finding Nemo. Paid someone from fiverr for some minor retouching. Then added Spongebob and Patrick on to the window, pasted a section of blue from the water over the top of them and lowered the opacity of that selection so that it looked like they were underwater outside the window. Copied the section of the vertical strut in the window from the original and pasted it between Spongie and Pat to complete the illusion et voilà they're out there in the ocean staring in at me with adorable expressions of shock and awe. Presumably they've never seen such a louche creature. Lithe and svelte. Horrifically endowed.

I've been hitting the gym extra hard while I've been in Dubai and running 4 or 5km every night to get fit in preparation for training at a Muay Thai gym in Phuket from 21st for 2 weeks. The extra weights have added a bit of muscle mass and the running mainly for cardio has had the side effect of making me extra defined. Modesty aside the pic looks awesome.

Sandra bought me a pair of these Ralph Lauren stretchy pyjama bottoms for my birthday. They're figure hugging in a way that shows off my Bigdownunder to full effect! An effect that's actually pornographic if I wear them without underwear. I love them. Commando all the way. There's nobody I'd rather have gird my loins.

A redditor about to start out as a male escort asked for my advice the other day. His initial questions were=

  1. How and how much should you charge clients for the full service? Do you charge by hour or by services provided?

  2. How handsome, athletic, twinky do you have to be? Should you turn down a request if you feel you don't quite meet the clients' requirements (avoiding buyer's remorse)?

  3. Most clients are older (35–60 years old) and they always wish to suck you off and make you cum. How do you keep your erection and how do make sure to ejaculate?

  4. Should you allow clients to visit you at your home or should you always meet clients at their home or at hotels?


I replied=

  1. This is entirely up to you. Google "male escort your city eg "male escort london" and look at the top directories. Look into the ads of other guys there with similar look and services to you to see what the average rate is. Rates are almost always per hour. Some escorts charge extra for certain services. I prefer not to vary my rates depending on services. I like the transactional part of my interaction with clients to be as quick, simple and straightforward as possible. Any complicated discussion of x services costs x amount etc just prolongs the part that is the least pleasant for the client. And no fun for me either. Better that they can just hand over an envelope of cash at the start of their hour and then completely forget about the money side of things and enjoy our time together. Interrupting their time part way through to demand more cash would guarantee that's the last time that client would see you. Regulars are gold.

  2. Male escorts tend to either promote themselves as a stereotypical top who is rugged and handsome and or a body builder type with a huge cock. Or as a bottom who tends to be youthful, smooth, cute etc. If your ad states clearly which services you offer and don't offer, describes you accurately and has clear, genuine pics, you'll very rarely get guys walking out. It will happen sometimes but usually this is a variety of timewaster called the "look and go" who never had any intention of staying. He's just going around looking at male escorts then leaving without paying because he's too poor or cheap to pay or too uncomfortable with his own sexuality to go through with it.

  3. I take 1/4 of a viagra I've chopped up with a knife 30 minutes before a job which guarantees I'll always get rock hard very quickly and easily and stay that way. You can buy viagra over the counter with no prescription in UK. If you can't where you are, there's always generic version sold online eg kamagra with the exact same active ingredient. Don't take it if you have heart problems and don't use it along with poppers. A whole pill might make you hot, flushed, dizzy and give you a headache but one quarter pill should have no side effects. Sometimes for whatever reason (usually because they're inexperienced and have no idea what they're doing) a guy is trying to make me cum without success. I can sometimes provide enough guidance to get him to do whatever he's doing in a way that will eventually make me cum. Sometimes it just isn't going to happen and I'll take matters into my own hands. Always whilst getting him to do something so he can feel that he's contributing to my pleasure eg licking my balls. Not every client will ask you to cum. And if they cum before you do, they'll almost always instantly completely lose interest in whether you cum or not.

  4. I do incalls at my home. I live in an apartment so I just give them the building address. Not my apartment number. And tell them to call me when they're outside. then I go to the front door and look out through the window to make sure there's just one clienty looking person there. Or a couple if I'm expecting a husband and wife. then I let them in. Best not to give your full address to everyone. As others mentioned you could get a stalker. Could also be someone planning to rob you. If they're in a hotel, I ask for their full name and room number then call the hotel reception and ask to speak to Mr X in Room Y. If they transfer me to the room phone, all ok. Then I know there's a genuine client there. Otherwise you'll sometimes get a prankster sending you to a hotel just to waste your time. If it's to their home, I make them book an uber to pick me up and take me there. That way they've effectively paid a deposit using something with their real name connected to it. If they were up to no good, it's unlikely they'd agree to book you an uber. My girlfriend and I always know where one anothers jobs are and when we're due to finish. If you have someone to keep track of you this way, do it. The idea being if either of you can't locate the other, you'd send the police. I've been doing this ten years and never had a situation like that but better to be safe.

  5. Never bareback and never use drugs. Good luck on your first job!


He's had his first job now and said overall it went ok and he followed my advice. I said to message me anytime and I'll check in on the sexwork subreddits more often now and look out for any opportunity to contribute something of value on the forums. It was nice to be able to make a difference for this guy. I used to answer these kind of questions a lot on reddit but quit for a while after stupid SESTA/FOSTA laws in USA prompted reddit to ban a lot of sexwork subs. My own subreddit included. Seems to have settled down now so the Oz reddit account is out of retirement 🙂

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Author: Oz Bigdownunder

Australian Bi male masseur and escort for men, women, threesomes with couples and duos with female or transsexual escorts.
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3 years ago

Cool. You are like the guru of escorts. Did you have a mentor when you started?

Last edited 3 years ago by Candy

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