Pawnography Chess Master

I found out Mr A is a chess nut like me! He has a wicked sense of humour and a vivid imagination and creative streak when it comes to inventing themes and activities for orgy parties.

He mentioned to a mutual friend of ours, Mistress Eve, that he was a chess player. Eve knows I'm absolutely crazy about chess so she told him to email me.

Mr A's opening was tight. Tidy. He showed a good positional understanding. Very flexible.

I've come across an opening or two in my time. English openings, Italian openings.. French, Scandinavian, Austrian, Scotch, Hungarian, Indians. I even enter hippopotami, dragons and hedgehogs sometimes.

Mr A was facing a world renowned pawn star.

I'm a Grandmaster of Pawnography.

Challenge me to a game on chess.com. I'm 0zbigd0wnunder.

Contact me if you'd like chess lessons.

They say too much pawn is never enough pawn.

Pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn.

I was gentle with him at first but he soon found himself severely restricted by my Maróczy Bind (an actual chess opening name which would also make a great name for a bondage tie).

Just the way I like my playmates. Bound. Immobilised and helpless.

I tickled his bishop and shoved a rook up his open file.

Then with a central thrust I was in a dominant position.

A penetrating manoeuvre.

My horsey was coming up his A file.

Mr A's back rank was defenseless against my long diagonal.

Soon both my horseys were giving his Queen a forking the like of which hasn't been seen since Katherine the Great got frisky in her stables.

Allegedly.

Mating ensued.

A young lady contacted me last year to arrange an appointment almost a year ahead of time. In the interim, covid happened.

We haven't managed to meet but she has paid me for some chat sessions.

Recently she decided to take up chess and as she knew I'm quite a strong chess player she asked me to teach her.

Not the first time someone's asked me to help expand their opening. (Repertoire).

So she's now paying me for chess lessons via WhatsApp video chat.

Sex is usually more fun than chess. But it does depend on the position.

-Boris Spassky

In lessons I've been getting her to do exercises from the lichess learning centre while I offer hints to steer her toward the correct solutions and to help her remember the correct moves.

Then we usually play a game vs another lichess member where I guide her during the game with some advice and hints and explain the reasons why one move is better or worse than another.

Then after the game we use the lichess analysis feature and "learn from your mistakes" feature and I get her to try to guess which moves the computer prefers and then explain why certain moves are mistakes and why alternate moves are better.

She's an apt pupil and has improved a lot already. She calls me sir and I hardly ever have to threaten her with corporal punishment.

ps The artwork in the featured image at the top of the page is inspired by Beth Harmon from Queen's Gambit. Brilliant tv show. The artist is Negisaray. I made a few minor alterations. The game set up on the table is The Opera Game. A work of genius by Paul Morphy. One of the most beautiful chess games ever played.

The second pic is Nikki Benz and Jessica Jaymes. You can watch the clip for free on Nikki's xvideos page. If you like it, join her members site. I borrowed the bishop's hat from the pope.

The third one is Armour for Man and Horse from The Wallace Collection. With a small addition from Bad Dragon. I don't think they sell it in the armour plated colour morph unfortunately. That was my own wizardry.