Vivastreet just published the interview they did with me recently.
Here's their article = Q&A: Male Escorts Reveal All
And here is the unedited interview =
1. How did you get into this profession?
I was working for a mobile phone company in Australia and my girlfriend at the time was an international student funded by pocket money from her parents. She wanted her independence and I wanted out of my soul destroying corporate job. She joined an escort agency with my full support and later I quit my job and we went touring Australia together and listed ourselves in newspaper classifieds both as independent escorts. I found that as an escort I was making more money, putting certain skills and physical attributes to good use and making my clients very happy, enjoying my job and loving the fact that I had freedom to choose what services to offer or not offer, which clients to see or not see, how much to charge, when to take a break and for how long etc.
At the phone company and the bank where I worked before that, I had no such freedom. I don't regret working in corporate environments. I learned a lot there. But I'd never go back to that kind of work. I felt exploited working for a corporation that paid me as little as possible to keep me coming into work to make bosses at the top of the corporation rich. The big bosses I was making rich knew nothing about me. Management couldn't have cared less about me in any sense apart from my productivity. I love being self employed. I'll escort until I want to stop then I'll continue to be self employed doing something else.
2. How long have you been in this industry?
About ten years altogether.
3. What is your typical day to day life as a male escort? (Clients contacting, time of sessions, activities in a session etc)
I always set an alarm to wake me up 8 hours after I go to bed. Then I put my phone on silent, out of reach and don't touch it until after the alarm. I rarely have anything urgent to do first thing in the morning. The alarm is more to make sure I don't wake up too early, feel the need to check my phone to see what time it is, end up reading messages etc and then not be able to get back to sleep or disrupt my sleep so that I'm not well rested.
If I wake up and the alarm hasn't gone off, I just close my eyes and go back to sleep until the alarm does go. Then there's no rush so I take my time in the morning and start the day off at my own pace. Big luxury compared to when I had a 9-5 job. I don't miss dragging myself half asleep into morning rush hour.
When I'm properly awake and I've had my breakfast and coffee, had a shower etc, I then start replying to all my Txts, whatsapps, emails and messages via the message system built into different sites I advertise on.
My reply is almost always, "which day and what time suits you? Incall or outcall?" then if they try to chat, share pics etc I say "please send me a £50 amazon UK voucher to my email and I'll chat to you for 20 minutes" then if they still don't get the hint "I'm blocking you now but I'll unblock you when I receive the voucher." in UK I get one or two genuine clients contact me per day and I accept on average one per day. Sometimes two. Sometimes zero. Average one. But I get at least 5-10 contacts from timewasters per day across all platforms WhatsApp, txt, email, messages on directories and use those same copy and paste messages above for all of them.
Timewasters are a fact of life for all escorts. For whatever reason people think it's OK to contact escorts, pretend to be interested in booking an appointment, then try to get the escort to entertain them for free via messages with no intention of ever showing up and paying.
I go to Dubai on tour a few times a year. Being a wanker and wasting escorts time is the national sport there. Hundreds per day. I charge double my UK rates to compensate myself for dealing with so many idiots. This seems to be the normal approach adopted by all escorts there. Average rates in Dubai are at least double the average rates of anywhere else. Its OK for a week. It would drive me crazy if I lived there.
Once I've replied to messages my day could take any shape. I use Google calendar to keep track of appointments (I'm thinking of switching to the protonmail calendar) and I also set myself tasks on there like "write a blog post" or "answer vivastreet interview questions" and then I either complete the task and change the colour to show me its done, or move it to a future date. That way everything on my calendar is either in the past and marked as completed or in future and still needs to be completed. So once a task is on there it always gets done.
If you only count time spent with clients as my work hours then I make a ridiculous amount of money for a tiny amount of time spent working. But if you look at all the time I spend on messages and marketing, I do work very hard.
I go to the gym nearly every day. I enjoy exercise and it makes me feel more fresh and invigorated when I train. And being fit and looking good is important for my job.
If I decide a particular day and time is for meeting friends or a gym class or for going to an exhibition or a movie or for my own hobby (I play chess casually and for a club and in tournaments), then that goes on my calendar and I'll schedule my appointments around it.
I travel a lot.
Usually a working holiday. I post ads for the new location, see clients and enjoy my travels as a tourist too.
My sessions are usually one hour. I never have anyone arriving immediately after someone leaves so I don't watch the clock. I don't mind if clients go a bit over time and I'm happy to extend their time and add extra hours if they like. As I said before I rarely see more than one client per day by choice. I know my limits and I know if I need to get hard and cum when I'm still tired from a previous session, I can manage it but I'll feel under pressure. Too much of that pressure and I'll eventually reach a point where I need a holiday to rest and recover and get myself back to 100%.
I always offer clients drink when they arrive, chat, show them where the bathroom is if they want a shower. Give them a clean towel. Hang up their coats. Put some nice music on, sexy lighting, always clean sheets. I talk to them about their fantasies and make sure I know what they're into, what they want to do, any particular likes, dislikes etc. Sessions are always focused on a happy and satisfied customer. I'm told I have a talent for making tense, nervous people feel at ease. I see a lot of first timers and inexperienced types. Bi curious men, kink curious couples. Often they've been fantasising for years or decades before plucking up the courage to make their fantasy a reality. It's a big deal for these guys. So I do everything in my power to make the experience perfect for them.
I do a lot of duos where a single male client or a couple book more than one escort at a time. And Mistresses and their clients invite me to a lot of forced bi and cuckolding sessions.
Those are my specialities. Duos, couples, cuckolding and forced-bi. I go to a lot of trouble to promote myself for these kinds of sessions. My site trends very high on search engines for search phrases relating to these terms. I have a lot of regulars for these sessions and a lot of regular duo partners who list me on their websites as their preferred male duo partner and I get a lot of bookings from word of mouth where one escort or Mistress will recommend me to another.
My day isn't 9-5 but I put in a lot of hours throughout the day replying to messages and completing hundreds of small tasks designed to promote myself eg whatsapp status updates and broadcasts, tweets, Instagram posts, switter updates, setting myself available on different sites, forum posts, I have some regulars who I know its OK to proactively contact so if I see a pic or video or link or something I think they'll like, I send it to them (otherwise I don't contact clients unless they contact me first in case a family member or friend or colleague reads over their shoulder).
Also picture and video editing, posting new pics to different sites, posting video clips for sale, writing blog posts, editing my website and working on SEO and site design, networking with other escorts for duo sessions, I've designed and ordered business cards, harvested contact emails and mass mailed media outlets to offer to do interviews in exchange for links to my site on theirs (which is great for my websites search ranking). I begin all these tasks starting from as soon as I've had my morning coffee, take time off from them whenever to enjoy my free time and hobbies, then back to work right up until bed time usually the last thing I'll do before I sleep is something marketing related.
4. Have you ever felt unsafe?
Not really. I do take certain precautions. If I'm doing an outcall to a private address I make them book an uber from their own uber account to pick me up from my place and take me to theirs. Mostly to avoid getting caught out by a prank which is unfortunately not uncommon whereby some moron will book an appointment at a fake address to deliberately waste our time. If someone was up to no good, eg planning to rob me or assault me, they'd be unlikely to agree to the uber since it costs them money and it would be connected to their real name and make it easy for the police to trace them.
If I was ever the victim of crime, I wouldn't hesitate to go to the police. Sex work is completely legal in UK so I have no fear of law enforcement. Criminals know this so sex workers are relatively safe here. We do tend to carry more cash than the average person and criminals know this too so it does pay to take precautions.
When I have an incall I only give them my building address. Not my flat number. Then I tell them to txt or WhatsApp when they're outside and I'll come to the door. Then I go look out the window and make sure there's only one clienty looking man, or a man and a woman if I'm expecting a couple, before I open the door.
5. Who are your typical clients? (Men, women, old, young, businessmen etc)
The great majority of almost any escort's clients are men. Middle aged or older.
In my case I've promoted myself extensively for many years as a male escort specialising in couples and duos. I built a reputation, gained many duo partners, rose up the search rankings and have the luxury of receiving far more booking requests than I need to or want to accept. So nowadays the combined total of my sessions that involve either a couple or a duo or a single woman client outnumber my sessions with single men. This is extremely rare for a male escort.
I enjoy sex with men, women and transsexuals. My preference is to have a variety of sessions involving two or preferably more people and a mix of genders. Integrating this into my business model has not been easy.
6. Do your family / friends know about your profession?
I'm not a fan of the question but I appreciate the interview and I like vivastreets blog so I'll answer.
My family doesn't know. I don't tell them because they'd worry about me if they knew unless I explained what I do to them in enough detail so that they'd understand exactly what I do. I'm not sure whether they'd find those details awkward or shocking or disturbing and I don't want to find out.
I don't like the question because it feels like an attempt to make it sound like what I do is shameful or shocking or disturbing. All very titillating. But my job isn't like that at all. I make people happy who would otherwise be repressed and unsatisfied. I enjoy what I do and I have the freedom to say no thanks to any job if I suspect I won't enjoy it. Nothing shameful about that. Journalists always ask me this question because titillation is what they want. (no offense. I get it. Shock value sells papers and magazines and generates clicks on blogs etc).
7. What are the weirdest / oddest clients/ requests you’ve had?
Journalists always ask this question too. For similar reasons to the above question but fair enough. It was one of the most popular questions on my reddit AMA too.
The honest answer is that nothing is odd or weird to me. It's either something I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy, I'll be good at it and I'm confident my client will have a great session. So I'll do it. Or it's not like that, so I'll say no thanks. But that's a pretty boring response. So I usually answer by describing a ball busting session which seems to make interviewers happy =
I used to have a regular who was into ballbusting.
The first time I met him I sat down with him and asked if he'd had ballbusting session before. He said he had. I asked him to describe what he would like and tried to get a feel for what he liked about being kicked in the balls. In his case it was a form of submission. Power exchange. He was turned on by feeling weak and helpless and at the mercy of a stronger man who has the power to hurt him. The pain was erotic for him as with each kick he felt the point driven home that he was weak and helpless and the man dominating him was irresistible and strong. Not all impact play sessions are the same. A clients motivations for the session can be all sorts of diverse fantasies and fetishes.
I made sure he understood the risks and assured him I'd start with minimal impact and work up to harder kicks and check in with him often to see how he was doing. I felt sure he'd tell me if the kicks were too hard so I could reduce the impact and if he couldn't take any more, he'd say so and I'd stop.
He loved that session and came back many times.
Each repeat session he'd arrive and with very little chit chat he'd take of his jeans but leave his underwear and the rest of his clothes on and stand with his feet shoulder width apart and his hands behind his back and I'd stand in front of him fully dressed with my shoes on and kick him repeatedly in the balls. I've been doing martial arts since I was a kid. Taekwondo for 10 years. And I lived in Thailand for a few years and trained full time at a Thai boxing gym and fought professionally. I can kick hard. Anyway, he could take it. When he was ready, he'd lie on the floor and I'd put my feet on top of his crotch and he'd jerk off inside his underpants. We recorded it once and I have a video clip of the kicking on my blog if you're curious.
8. What do you think is a common misconception / stereotype about male escorts?
If you seach for "male escort" a lot of the top results are websites encouraging single men to pay to list themselves as a male escort for women. The business model of these sites is to make money from these men. They are the clients. Women do not use these sites to find male escorts.
If you type the names of any of those sites into a search engine (I recommend duckduckgo search. Google has excellent products but the price you pay is that they spy on you constantly and sell everything the know about you to advertisers. The spying is too creepy. I dumped facebook for the same reason. Migrating all my contact emails to protonmail)you will find endless complaints about the fact that they are a scam. Which they are.
If you go on any escort forum eg the sexworker subreddits or saafe, you'll find one of the most common questions asked is "how do I become a male escort for women." The answer from other escorts, who have no reason to lie is "forget it. There's almost no market for straight male escorts and all the straight male escort listing websites are scams"
But then also in the top search results you'll find all sorts of tabloid type "journalism" where they've interviewed an alleged straight male escort. But then if you investigate eg reverse image search his pics or search using his work name and location you'll find no trace of any such straight male escort. ie it's just some guy they've invented or paid to lie.
9. How do you believe being a male escort differs to women escorts?
In most cases the majority of the time I spend with my client my cock will remain rock hard throughout and they usually want me to cum.
A female escort friend of mine once said something like “I don't know how you do it. If there was the female equivalent of an erection like some un-fakable sign of being turned on let alone proof of whether I'd had a real orgasm or not, approximately none of my clients would have ever seen it.”
She probably could have orgasms with most of her clients but insisting on the exact procedure necessary to make this happen and training each guy how to get her off would likely prove far less entertaining for the clients than if she simply faked it and be more trouble than it's worth for her and also not be her priority anyway since it's a job and the objective isn't to pleasure herself but to satisfy the client and get paid.
It's a different story for me. My guys would be very disappointed if I was soft and many would leave unsatisfied if I didn't cum.
Fortunately, I'm a tremendous pervert, so a lot of things turn me on. I choose to accept sessions only if I'm pretty sure I will be turned on and decline if I don't feel that way. I only accept a limited number of bookings so I'm never tired. And I take plenty of holidays so I never suffer from burnout. Also, most importantly, I don't use drugs. The trap most male escorts seem to fall into unfortunately is drug use. Then they can't perform as the drugs destroy their libido.
That's the main difference. Erections.
Anecdotally, I'm not up against very stiff competition in that regard. My duo partners keep telling me it's almost impossible to find a male escort like me who can always get hard, stay hard and cum on demand. I always can.
The most common misconception about escorts is that we are all either horribly exploited and living in constant danger like streetwalkers in 80's New York (I love The Deuce. Great TV show. Nothing like my job) or we're making millions and prancing around on people's private jets and yachts. Both extremes do exist but the shocking truth is that most escorts exist somewhere in between those two extremes and the day to day operation of our business does not resemble anything that the media would present to their viewers or readers because it's just not that exciting. Only the extremes ever get portrayed. Meanwhile, in the real world, we do our jobs and make money the same as anyone else but sex is involved.
10. What do you do if you don’t find a client attractive?
I don't mind about looks. But if someone asks for a service I don't offer, or they seem rude or pushy or aggressive or if I find anything off-putting about their manner in the way they approach me via txt or WhatsApp or email, I'll say no thanks. If they ask for bareback or want to do drugs together, no way. But many of my favourite clients are elderly or overweight or disabled. I said this in another interview and they got all excited and misquoted me on purpose. I think they even put it in their headline. OMG YOU WON'T BELIEVE MALE ESCORT LOVES OLD FAT UGLY CLIENTS LOL or something to that effect. Which isn't what I said. I love polite, respectful people who will show up, pay and have a great time with me. I don't care whether they're conventionally attractive or not.
11. Is it hard to have a relationship in this profession?
It hasn't been hard for me. My girlfriend is an escort too. We've been together over 5 years. We sometimes do duos together. We often travel together. Sometimes she'll go on tour and I'll stay in UK because I have jobs booked here or vice versa. Mostly we're together and we're very happy together.
12. Have you ever been attracted to a client?
I've had lots of great sex with clients. Both with those most people would consider attractive and with many who most would see as unattractive.
13. What are the three things you would advise men thinking of getting into escorting?
Don't use drugs. Never bareback. And if you want to be a success you'll need to be smart, creative and very hard working when it comes to promoting yourself. Taking a few selfies in front of your greasy, smeared mirror with the toilet in the background and/or a close up shot of your cock accompanied by a few crude Borat style lines of text in broken English will not suffice. You will find endless ads online of this level of quality posted by optimists who will never see a genuine paying client but don't be one of those guys.
You'll need to see single men (not just women and couples) to make a living from escorting. Start by getting your own website and some studio pics that you've paid a professional photographer for and pay someone to retouch them. This can be very cheap if you search for a voucher eg groupon, wahanda etc. Retouching doesn't need to be expensive either. Plenty of cheap options on crowdsourcing site like fiverr. Buying a domain name is cheap and building a site on wordpress is easy. Learn SEO. the best SEO is just to have a blog page on your site and post on there regularly and use the kind of keywords you want clients to find you with.
Someone asked for my advice about becoming a male escort in the comments section on my blog. I replied=
You want to be a male escort? Are you bi? good looking? Charming, funny? Can you be exquisitely gentle when called for and also unleash raw unrestrained stallion like power when needed? Have a body like an athlete and hung like a donkey? Do you love sex in general and specifically love making other people’s fantasies a reality? That’s a good start but you’ll also need to be able to get a rock hard erection almost instantly and keep it that way for at least the best part of an hour under circumstances that might be a huge turn on for your client but aren’t necessarily what you’re into. You’ll need to let go of your own desires. Every session will be about what that client wants. Not what you want.
Some “male escorts” put up an almost zero effort ad on a directory with a few lines of text and some mirror selfies or equally terrible quality pics and that’s it for their advertising. I’d be surprised if an ad like that ever attracted one single genuine client. The amount of work involved in at least making a living from escorting is enormous. If you want to be one of the best of the best, that takes tremendous talent and years of dedicated hard work. An escort might only do an hour or two per day of sessions but the marketing, promotion, etc I mentioned above is a full time job.
I wake up, grab a coffee and immediately get on my phones and laptop and start work. Then in between sessions, socialising, exercising and enjoying my own hobbies I’m always making time through the day to do more work promoting myself online. right up until just before I go to sleep at night I’m doing things on my site, social media, directory listings, sending emails, whatsapp broadcasts, picture and video editing and a thousand more little jobs I work on every day.
Fetishes and Fantasies
Clients will ask you to cater to fetishes and fantasies more diverse and weird and wonderful than you can imagine. You’ll have to embrace each of them like it’s your own one true hearts desire. Easy for me since I’m a huge pervert and love almost everything sexual and kinky but can you? and all that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Most of what makes a successful escort is about marketing, promotion, SEO, social networking, making good contacts with other escorts and Mistresses, building a reputation and making close relationships with regulars.
Someone who has the qualities needed to be a great escort is rare. And then for someone with those qualities to actually rise to the top without falling prey to burnout or drug addiction (unfortunately very common. Especially with male escorts) is even rarer still. If you think you have what it takes, go for it. I wish you every success and welcome to contact me anytime for help and advice.