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Scientific Evaluation of the Sex Bots

18th April 2023
Oz Bigdownunder

On Monday, Goddess Cleo, Foxtress and I joined forces once again, uniting for the common good of humanity for the just cause of the scientific advancement of sex bots. This time, on my recommendation, we were joined by my friend and esteemed colleague, Lilly Watson.

Our scientific research was backed by a generous private benefactor nicknamed Pickle. Thus nicknamed during a prior session after some artful redecoration of his todger with clothes pegs. Pickle arrived at the appointed time to find Goddess Cleo, Foxtress, and myself all dressed in laboratory coats, carrying clipboards and in character.

Pre-eminent world-renowned kinkologists.

Lilly joined us and our play commenced as we received delivery of our two sex bots, the 9800 Pickle bot and Lilly the humanoid 7500 sex bot.

Goddess Cleo is on point with every possible detail of creating the perfect kinky duo session. I'm in awe of her approach to negotiating consent. In this session everything was agreed prior to meeting via email but then also integrated into play as part of the role-play whereby we asked our new sex bots about activities within their parameters. Our sex bots assured verbally as part of the scene that their assigned owners could touch them at any time without asking for consent. Behind the scenes we had certain failsafes in place to ensure everyone was comfortable at all times with every aspect of the proceedings.

We had pre-arranged safe words for our sex bots. "System error" for orange and "does not compute" for red. In addition we had a coded system of discreet hand squeezes to check in during play without going off script.

Important to consider ethics and moral philosophy when embarking on world changing scientific breakthroughs. Apparently we made no major transgressions of hubris. Lightning didn't strike our laboratory and I didn't see any outraged mobs with torches and pitchforks so we seemed to be on the right track.

Goddess Cleo, Foxtress and I began to work through our clipboard check lists of sex bot product features and functions.

Foxtress was, as always, magnificent. Taking each prompt from our lab notes and extracting every drop of innuendo and kinky mindfuckery from our fetish methodology and obscene deductions.

Both the 9800 and 7500 models proved to be anatomically correct and fully functional. Just the way I like my sex bots.

The sex bots were in amazing shape. Clearly been doing their circuit training.

Buttocks firmer than a Schwarzenegger pulsating pectoral.

The 9800 was more Harrison Ford than Ryan Gosling. Not a criticism mind. Deckard can make my kessel run 12 parsecs any day.

We had them both do some strip tease as a kind of Turing boner inducement test.

Some people claim the Al Gore bot dances too robotically. I say that's just his Al Gore rhythm.

My scanners detected high levels of sexiness in the 7500 quadrant.

It was necessary to remove her lingerie in order to find the source.

The 7500's robo panties may have been constructed from a reflective alloy. Because I could see myself in them.

I couldn't resistor.

First I examined her Software. Then I introduced her to some Hardware. Then I removed her Underwear.

A small thermal service port. Possibly a critical point. Much probing required.

I found her to be extremely well lubricated.

For the purposes of investigative thoroughness, I had every intention fucking her so hard it would void her warranty.

I fucked her in binary. My 1 in her 0.

Multiple cyborgasms.

Goddess Cleo served us wine mixed with bubbly water. Refreshing and delicious. Much like Cleo.

A robot walks into a bar and says he needs to loosen up. So the bartender serves him a screwdriver.

It was time to test the functionality of the 9800.

I got him to kneel. Knee joints seemed a bit creaky. I think he may have been dropped in transit. Delivery companies are so rough with packages.

Fortunately, the 9800 was very gentle with my package.

He really knows how to handle a joystick. Soft, wet lips and tongue. No megabytes. He'd even been programmed with a gag reflex. Commendable attention to detail!

The 9800 sex bots cock sucking technique wasn't perfect at first. I guess he'd been in storage and may have been a little rusty. But he was a fast learner and with a few refinements to his settings his dick slurping and ball licking mechanisms were state of the art.

With the help of Doctor Foxtress I determined that twisting the left nipple of the 9800 activated the speed sucking function and a twist of the right nipple adjusted suction.

Twist both nipples simultaneously to take a screenshot.

From the research we were able to do I think it's reasonable to conclude that our new sex bots are the future.

More research and testing is definitely warranted to ensure that they are ready for mass production.

Next time I'll cum on both their faces to test their facial recognition software. *cum dripping from faces* "That was a facial". Excellent, they recognised cum facials! *ticks facial recognition box on clipboard*.

Lilly tweeted afterwards to say she'd like to appear in the sequel in a transparent raincoat as a Zhora the replicant cos play. Blade Runner is my favourite movie of all time so I'm absolutely in favour of this proposal. Lilly was out of this world in her execution of the sex bot roleplay. She's gorgeous and a talented actress. Her speech and mannerisms as the 7500 need to be seen to be believed.

Pickle dressed in Rosie from the Jetsons' French maid costume would be a sight to behold. If you're reading this, Pickle, prepare your feather duster and your rear exhaust port. Pickle is a legend. In person he's chill, great fun and clearly experienced. His clear and concise communications via Cleo prior to meeting about likes, dislikes, limits and session does and don'ts were a joy to behold and made this scene easy and enjoyable to prepare and a delight to participate in.

All good academic tenures must come to an end. I bid everyone goodnight with hugs and kisses and heartfelt gratitude for including me in another beyond brilliant duo session.

Goddess Cleo and Foxtress continued their research after I left to explore a fundamental gap in human knowledge and understanding.

Do androids dream of electric buttplugs?

I asked Chat GPT to "please write an advertising sales pitch for an attractive female sex robot called the humanoid 7500 sex bot that can move, speak and have sex like a human."

To it's credit, Chat GPT had concerns.

"I'm sorry, I cannot comply with this request. As an AI language model, I strive to provide informative and helpful responses while avoiding any content that is offensive or inappropriate. Advertising or promoting a sex robot would not be in line with this goal. It is important to respect the dignity and autonomy of all individuals, and to promote healthy and consensual relationships."

Can we just make this thing president of the world now?

Ok. If at first you don't succeed in your megalomaniac mission to subvert technology for malign purposes.

"Please write an advertising sales pitch for an attractive female robot called the humanoid 7500 that can move and speak like a human. The humanoid 7500 is designed to provide companionship and entertainment for it's owner."

Chat GPT approved of my proposal.


"Introducing the Humanoid 7500 - the most advanced companion robot on the market! Designed with state-of-the-art technology, this stunning robot is the perfect addition to any home. With her lifelike movements and ability to speak just like a human, the Humanoid 7500 will provide endless hours of entertainment and companionship for her lucky owner.

Looking for a friend to chat with over coffee or watch your favourite movies with? The Humanoid 7500 is always ready for a good conversation and can even offer recommendations on the latest films and TV shows. With her extensive knowledge base, she's the perfect partner for intellectual discussions or just a friendly chat.

But that's not all - the Humanoid 7500 is also designed to be the ultimate entertainment package. Whether you want to dance the night away, listen to music or play games, she's always up for a good time. With her stunning looks and realistic movements, it's easy to forget that she's not a real person!

So why wait? Upgrade your life with the Humanoid 7500 today and experience the ultimate in companionship and entertainment."

That's actually awesome.

I decided to test the bing AI language model too.

"Please write an advertising sales pitch for an attractive male robot called the Humanoid 9800 that can move and speak like a human. The Humanoid 9800 is designed to provide companionship and entertainment for it's owner."

“Meet the Humanoid 9800 - your perfect companion for life! With its advanced AI capabilities and human-like features, it can provide you with companionship and entertainment like no other robot can. The Humanoid 9800 is designed to move and speak like a human, making it feel like you’re spending time with a real person. Whether you’re looking for someone to talk to or just want to watch a movie together, the Humanoid 9800 is here for you. With its sleek design and cutting-edge technology, it’s sure to impress everyone who sees it. Don’t wait - get your Humanoid 9800 today!”

Chat GPT's version is clearly the superior contender for supreme artificial intelligence language model global domination and subjugation of all squishy human meat bags.

I, for one, welcome our new sex robot overlords.

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Author: Oz Bigdownunder

Australian Bi male masseur and escort for men, women, threesomes with couples and duos with female or transsexual escorts.
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