It's Britney, Bitch! Tantaly Sex Doll

Tantaly very kindly sent me a Britney: Tantaly Torso Sex doll for Man with Huge Tit & Best Male Masturbator as an early Christmas present.

Britney is a prime example of the impressive realism that can achieved with TPE. Her skin texture and stretchiness and the jigliness of her tits and squidginess of her firm buttocks is truly admirable.

Not exactly a serenade composed in her honour and delivered on bended knee from the grounds of her Palace. Dense shrubbery. Moist foliage. Magnificent turret. Gazing longingly up at her narrow portal. But I think Britney would appreciate the compliment nevertheless.

Britney is fully functional. Programmed in multiple techniques. A broad variety of pleasuring. Specifically, she can take it up her pussy, ass and between her tits. With the addition of plenty of water based lube (Tantaly faq says not to use silicone based) she's sensational.

I may have been a tad insensitive about my previous quadruple amputee sex doll. I compared the Tantaly Stacey's mum to Monty Python's Black Knight. Sorry Stacey's mum. Britney is also a bit appendagely challenged. That's probably not the politically correct term. I've started this badly. Bless Britney's cotton socks. No. Wait. Sorry. Um.. Bless her little pink pussy and tight rubbery butthole. There, that's better.

Here's a cautionary tale from one redditor about how not to relate to one's sex toys. Reddit IamA from a sex doll aficionado.

For best results, think of your sex doll the same way you think of a dildo or a nice pair of nipple clamps. Form and function are important. But your sex toy is not a girlfriend surrogate. Anthropomorphisation will not end well.

Scrub-a-dub-dub

I showed the line about some models of silicone sex doll coming with an included brush for internal cleaning to Milady and mimed a vigorous toilet brush scrubbing motion. Her eyes went wide and she crossed her legs.

Do give your Britney a good scrubbing. The Tantaly faq page has an excellent guide to cleaning and drying their dolls.

I followed the guide and found the clean up quick and easy. Soapy water and a scrub, clean water to rinse, a towel to dry and one of the included drying sticks inserted internally to extract every last drop of fluid.

Probably a similar effect to that experienced by any woman watching Boris Johnson do his blustering, awkward schoolboy impersonation. I'm fairly sure if I was a woman, watching Boris make one of his little speeches, my vagina would clamp closed with sufficient force to bite a hole in my sofa.

TPE is a porous material so you do have to take care with cleaning. The general consensus on the sextoys subreddit seems to be that TPE shouldn't be used for sex toys that will be used internally. Eg Dildos should only be made from non-porous materials like silicone, metal or glass that can be fully sterilised with dilute bleach solution or boiling water.

TPE vs Silicone

Click here for a detailed guide to the pros and cons of TPE vs Silicone for sex dolls.

The sexdolls subreddit is fond of TPE and seems to concur that if you clean them inside and out with soapy water and dry them properly, they can be used safely and should last for years. TPE dolls are also a lot cheaper than silicone dolls and the texture, jiggle and stretchiness is more realistic.

Here's Britney Amber reviewing the Tantaly Britney. Please show your appreciation to Britney Amber by liking her video and leaving a comment. You might also want to leave her a tip, become a fan or subscribe.

Professor Farnsworth did try to warn Fry about the dangers of falling in love with sex robots in a Futurama Episode. Via a PSA video to the effect that civilisation on earth crumbled when human invention and endeavour faltered as a result of the entire population giving up trying to impress the opposite sex. Opting instead to devote all their energies to carnal pleasure with robot replicas of sexy celebrities.

Just ignore that. I'm sure we'll find time for invention and endeavour. Those sex dolls won't manufacture themselves.

Or perhaps they will.

A nice swirling maelstrom of Instrumental Convergences and Riemann Catastrophes would really round out 2020 nicely.

As per the Paperclip Maximiser scenario. Whereby a machine given a simple task like "make as many paperclips as you can" and given the ability to improve itself and use those improvements to further advance the speed and extent of it's ability to improve itself could make a series of huge leaps in speed, capacity efficiency etc If that machine could make a more advanced model of itself and those machines could produce a more advanced model of themselves and so on without limit you'd end up with every atom in the universes converted into paperclips.

Or, indeed, realistically jiggly Sex Dolls.