2021 was a good year for touring, duos, fly me to you bookings, couples, filming content, orgies, fetish parties, dogging, dildos, couples, cuckolding and forced-bi. Happy New Year 2022!
I started 2021 off with a tour of Dubai to see some regular clients, meet some new ones and do some duos with my escort and Mistress friends. Always good to be Halal in the Streets, Haram in the Sheets!
While I was in Dubai, Makiyo and I made two porn videos together. Petite Japanese on Her Knees and the much anticipated sequel, Big Trouble in Little Makiyo. She's a star! Bless her cotton socks and her unfeasibly suckable nipples.
Sandra and I visited Bulgaria together. Home of the Sladka slivka Sweet Plum Pussies.
I Bought Elust- A Monthly Collection of Blog Posts About Sex. That was in March and now nearly 10 months later I'm about to publish my tenth edition of Elust since I purchased it. Elust has been going for over ten years.
Thousands of sex bloggers have contributed blog posts to Elust during its more than a decade long reign as the most renowned collection on the internet of erotica, sex news, sexy poetry and kink, BDSM and fetish related writing.
The previous owners decided to retire Elust and announced that the site would be shut down and the monthly editions would no longer be published due to dwindling interest. I made an offer and bought the site as a personal challenge to try to renew the popularity of Elust and elevate the platform and editions to new levels of sexiness.
It wasn't easy. I've spent a small fortune on a redesign and invested countless hours rebuilding the new and improved Elust and promoting it. I've paid for ad space for Elust on Fetlife, google ads and on the various porn tube sites via trafficjunky. I resurrected hundreds of lost editions via tracking them down on the wayback machine and publishing them anew.
Every day I'm spreading the Elust gospel. Evangelising Elust far and wide like a missionary of horny blogging. I've converted friends, acquaintances and strangers alike. From being almost abandoned, Elust is now back to publishing collections of around 20 sexy blog posts in each new monthly edition.
There's still a lot of work to do and I have a lot to learn. Stay tuned for new and exciting Elust developments in 2022. Ideally I'd like to encourage more Elusters to write their own comments next to each link in the edition and I'd like to get some advertisers to pay for ad space on the editions and then use the advertiser payments or donated sexy products as prizes in monthly competitions.
I did an MFM Duo with Curvaceous Companion, Olivia. Since writing that post, the gentleman sponsor of our fulsome frolics has become one of my most regular regulars and always requests Olivia to join us. He gets a bit naughtier each time we see him. It's almost as if some kind of corrupting influence(s) have been at work on his innocent psyche. To whom could blame be attributed for this diabolical perversion?
I became a Pawnography Chess Master. Challenge me to a game on chess.com. I'm 0zbigd0wnunder.
I had a Duo with Mistress Charlotte wherein we employed a Sissy Cuckold on Cleanup Duty. One just can't find good help these days. Although when one does find good help, a truly dutiful servant is a fine thing to behold. Especially when he's squeegeeing cum off his Mistress' tits with his face.
I made the acquaintance of the inimitable Victoria Myers. My seminal collaboration with Victoria was an MMF Duo with an Elegant English Courtesan.
I had an Interview with the Cuckold Consultant. That was a conversation for the ages. One world renowned Cuckolding aficionado to another. Dr 36 probed me deeply.
Madam Helle and I did a duo comprising a Kidnap Fantasy Roleplay. Our hostage seemed oddly unperturbed when we bent him over a spanking bench, tied his wrists and ankles, popped a ring gag in his mouth and then spitroasted him on my cock and her strapon. Must have had a mild case of the Stockolm Syndromes.
Another fine foray into cinematic production. The filming of Auntie Charlotte Punishing Her Naughty Nephew. Plot synopsis in point =
Auntie Charlotte has kindly taken on her nephew as a lodger. He's late with the rent and may have been sniffing around in Auntie's panty drawer. Aunty waits until Uncle is out and swiftly handcuffs her errant junior relative to the bedpost. Seeing her nephew instantly get a giant boner, she teases him and makes him promise to behave himself and pay the rent on time or else she'll leave him naked and cuffed to the bed to explain himself when Uncle gets home. Nephew sensibly promises to be a good boy and is rewarded with a handjob. The scene ends with Nephew gushing semen all over Aunties ample bosoms like a busted fire hydrant.
I made some Video Clips with Submissive Asian Pornstar, Anabelle. Picture the scene, if you will.
She went to work on my cock like a hotdog eating champion. Stuffing her adorable little gullet with instantly sub spaced abandon. From the second my cock hit the back of her throat producing the first of many gagged up torrents of sticky saliva, she was under my spell and completely incapable of resistance. In that moment all she wanted in the whole world was to have her face used and abused by me as my fuck toy.
Bi MMF and DP with a Couple. A Double Penetration Threesome. A petite excerpt peut-être.
We railed her like a couple of shinkansens until it seemed she might be cumming. I'm not sure. For clarity she could have screamed I'M CUMMING!" A bit louder. There were people in Antarctica who didn't quite hear her. Mr in his eagerness for simultaneity put in a couple of strokes so forceful they lifted her about 2 feet off the bed. Bigdownunder popped out at this point but I was polite enough not to interrupt at a critical moment by trying to reinsert myself into proceedings.
An Awesome Foursome Duo with Sandra and a Sexy Couple. Mr and Mrs D are always gracious hosts. Very classy and refined.
We drank bubbly and reminisced about the time Mr D's stainless steel, bejewelled butt-plug fell out at a dinner party and he had to discreetly hobble around the table gripping one trouser leg in both hands, hunched over like Quasimodo, to get himself to the powder room post haste lest his bum bauble go rolling around the room pinballing off the shoes of various well heeled and genteel guests.
Fondly now I reminisce about the eve of the Sweaty Pants Fetish and the Bum Douche Fountain.
I went to take a shower and found a bewildering array of levers, taps and spigots. On the end of one hose was a rubber tube with a tapered end designed for deep cleaning an anus in preparation for fisting. My new friend had put this to good use. He was clean and fresh as a daisy up there.
I didn't want to interrupt Mistress Diana as she was still otherwise engaged (elbow deep in her gentleman friend). So I slowly turned one tap. Nothing happened. So I flipped a lever. The bum douche nozzle fired a jet of water at me. I dodged that shit like the Matrix. If you watched a slow-mo action reply you'd see me blurring the space time continuum. I accelerated so repidly some of my particles produced antimatter. Faster than a speeding water jet out of an enema hose. Her ceiling was not so lucky.
I heard manly laughter and ladylike giggles. They'd both twigged to exactly what happened. Must have felt the disturbance in the force caused by my heroic evasive manoeuvre. Either that, or they heard water hit the ceiling and splat down to the bathroom floor.
I made a Dogging Video With Submissive Asian Anabelle on Hampstead Heath.
We passed a few other couples. Wondered aloud whether they were out for a brisk walk, fresh air, communing with nature. Or looking for a good spot for some alfresco fucking.
As much as I enjoy an opportunity to make a spectacle of myself, consent is key. I wouldn't want to offend some unsuspecting passerby happening by chance upon me dogging away. My firm naked buttocks rhythmically pulsating in all their splendour as I thrust savagely into my nubile Asian friends tight asshole.
Since I posted this, google has decided I'm the foremost authority on the subject and the post is now one of the top search results for people looking for "dogging on Hampstead Heath."
You've got to love doggers. Some of the propositions that have befallen my inbox as a result of this post would make your eyes water.
Honeysx kindly sent me a dildo to review. The Boss..
On the fucking machine at top speed, Boss is a blur of hot pink motion. Like a Power Ranger dancing to happy hardcore.
I had a fly-me-to-you booking. Mr and Mrs G Hotwife Filming Couple in Portugal.
Each time I see Mrs G I find her sexiness has evolved in some new and spectacular way.
She's completely uninhibited with me now. She always knows exactly what position she wants, how fast and hard or slow and sensual and which toy, or combination of multiple toys, she needs.
An especially winning combination of toys was her B-Vibe butt plug which as a vibrating tip and also a rimjob simulator consisting of rotating balls under the soft surface of its base used in tandem with a Womanizer clit sucker toy and my cock in her pussy.
Barbie Sins of Brazzers, Reality Kings, Fake Taxi, Bang Bros, Wicked Pictures, Legal Porno, Evil Angel fame and I made some Shared Content Video Clips.
Barbie has done a lot of double anal, double vaginal and triple penetration with some very big boys in some extremely rough scenes. When I knew we'd be filming together I did my research and watched every scene of hers I could find. I only watched in order to be thorough in my capacity as a professional. And because I'm a massive pervert and she's one of the best of the best at performing in the exact kind of scenes I like best. Extreme, rough, gangbangs.
On a Duo with a Sexy Couple and Alissa Thorne, I was asked what I plan to do when I retire from being a world renowned gigolo extraordinaire. I plan to become King Cocktopus.
And I shall rule my domain benevolently from my harem.
Anyone will be welcome to become a citizen on the condition that they agree to have a King Cocktopus approved medical implant that monitors and adjusts their hormone levels such that every adult citizen regardless of gender and age, has approximately the same sex drive.
As supreme and majestic King Cocktopus, I shall encourage social nudity in my kingdom.
Politicians, lawyers and police will be selected at random from the population and drafted into their positions for a compulsory one year of political, legal or constabulary service. In this way, rather than waste all their time attempting to backstab their way to the top of the pile of other corrupt, power hungry sociopaths, politicians might actually do something useful. If those drafted conduct themselves in a fair and just manner, they'll be richly rewarded. If not, they'll be fired and depending on how they've misused the powers incumbent in their positions, possibly exiled.
Homophobia, transphobia, kink shaming and not separating recycling will be highly illegal.
Sex work will be decriminalised obviously.
Everyone having the same sex hormones should result in a utopia with true gender equality, zero discrimination based on gender or sexuality, and a much better chance for everyone to enjoy their personal ideal romantic relationships and have very active sex lives.
Honeysx sent me a Leten 708 Pro Automatic Telescopic Heating Strong Male Masturbator to test and review.
At lowest power it chugs away steadily but you can tell it's holding back. Restrained by orders programmed in by it's creators not to just go around destroying all humans. I think it demanded my clothes, my boots and my modacygle.
Up through the speed settings and goes from Quake 3 Arena plasma cannon pulsating hard with considerable recoil and up again to full power where it goes full super saiyan mode.
Gripping this thing does tend to focus ones attention on the task at hand. I found that I selected one porn clip and stuck with it as searching and browsing for alternate porn clips somehow seemed a less appealing prospect than just lying back and enjoying the one already playing while the Leten gobbled my cock with all the romance and sensitivity of a pneumatic power tool from the future.
I had a Superheroic Threesome with a Nervous Couple.
Quoth the lady-
"That's an unnaturally big cock!"
Actually I'm all-natural. Ethically sourced, fair trade, organic, gluten free and biodegradable.
Furthermore, I'm genetically unmodified and without any cybernetic upgrades or implants.
Exactly as nature intended. Just superhumanly fit, good looking and packing an unfeasibly large penis.
For a human anyway. Fortunately nature didn't choose to bestow upon me a blue whale cock. 2.4m. That could be a bit inconventient having to fold it in half just to fit it in a shopping trolley.
Or a barnacle. 10 times the length of it's body. Having a cock as long as a tube carriage might cramp one's style somewhat. Unless it was prehensile. Using it to swing from lamp posts like Spiderman could be fun.
One upon a time in a past which is not the past, or the future, but forever, because legends are eternal, there was an Anal Action Duo with Vanessa and Mr & Mrs S.
Vanessa removed her butt plug in preparation for some anal action. I missed that bit as I was busy humping Mrs S's larynx. She might have discreetly popped it out but knowing Vanessa she could just as easily have yanked it out like King Arthur drawing Excalibur from the stone and held it aloft roaring to the heavens as lightning bolts rent the skies to strike down furiously on her vorpal ass bauble.
Sandra and I attended the Torturegarden Halloween Ball.
Two large gentlemen attempted to simultaneously perform the hymenlick manoeuvre on their lady friend. We marvelled at their handling of the logistics of getting their heads aligned in such a way to allow both tongues to get involved in the action.
Like two bulldogs fighting over an oyster.
Observed some impromptu fisting action in one of the laws of physics defying stairwells. A woman with forearms like Popeye, elbow deep in her husband. Missionary position with eye contact. It was romantic.
Torturegarden hasn't reinstated the couples room yet due to covid but this has simply resulted in the entire party becoming one giant couples room. Especially the ledge at the back of the dance floor.
I suspect earlier that evening torturegarden staff antibacterial sprayed that ledge to surgical operating theatre levels of sterilisation.
By the end of the evening you could have taken a run up and launched yourself face first onto the giant spreading pool of semen, aquaplaning (spermplaning?) across the room on a standing wave of spunk.
Engaged in some Encouraged Bi With a View of Winter Wonderland.
While Charlotte was pegging Mr T, I straddled his face on an angle allowing me to dual wield my own dick and his. There's a real science to this. It's not just handling two poles simultaneously like you're cross country skiing. There's tip to tip efficiency to consider.
Silicon Valley actually employed a team of mathematicians to help with the equations on the whiteboard as a team of software engineers react to the statement "I'll go into the auditorium and personally jerk off every guy in the audience,” by attempting to calculate how long it would take to jerk off 800 men to completion. If you're into maths (and/or wankbangs), there exists a full write-up of their findings regarding the most efficient technique involving pre-sorting members by girth and length for optimal double jerking.
That's Why I Say Phuket. Oz on Holidays in Thailand.
I was offered a seat on her front porch with a view of her garden, a cold beverage and the Big Buddha gazing down beatifically upon us.
A 46 metre high Statue on a nearby hilltop, silhouetted by the sunset. I think He approved. We may have mixed His messages a bit.
Existence is suffering. Craving and attachment are the causes of suffering. Nirvana is the end of suffering. Nirvana is achieved via the eightfold path.
In fact I was planning to enjoy inflicting and receiving some small sufferings. Eightfold at least. Probably not quite Nirvana but spirited.
And now I'm back in Dubai again for 3 weeks of sun, sand and sodomy and then back to London on February 1st.
